'VISA'va...

Planning on doing an MS right when I was studying BE, maintaining that focus (huh..) for two years inspite of the work freak that I was (my family would explain better...but I would rather not remind them), applying for MS during the last year at work and getting an admit from a good school like Georgia Tech...all seemed perfectly on track...no wonder "expectations" (my bad...) went spiralling...that the road ahead would be smooth....but that would make a boring Bollywood flick right?...so enters the visa reject....the high rises of expectations coming smashing down to the floor.

Then follow two weeks of ultimate turmoil- reapplication, reforming answers and most importantly avalanche negativity, looking at admits passing by you making you wonder - well, I said the same things and yet you won't approve me...visualizing  yourself scrapping all plans and replanning everything back from scratch, identifying the disappointment in your mom's eyes as she tries to hide it.......and enter the saviours...friends, family all with their ideas, suggestions, sometimes unappealing but mostly helpful and boosting spirits...

Cut to the day of the retry...your mind playing games with you showing you two movies in time-multiplexed manner...with approval, w/o approval with auto-repeat involuntarily on. Finally it starts, things go well and your visa is approved...happiness repollinating throughout the brain and then all disappointing memories of the past weeks start to fade away...as if it was hardly anything and happiness was always  in continuum...but that's just the first 5 mins of a bigger movie which is yet to be fully played out...Surprises await you...

Anyways, I would like to take this blog post as an opportunity to thank all the friends who helped me through this, grateful to my family who stood by me, kept pointing out my mistakes time and again and finally Him for giving this overall experience.

Grate expectations!!

Is it possible not to expect? Is it humanly possible for anyone to do that perpetually? The inertia of this stupid mind does not let me go off many thoughts that have been bugging my mind since some time now. Disappointments at college, at work, at home and everywhere else when looked closely seem to have a different reason each time, but when looked through the reverse telescopic view ( a figment of my imagination..dont bother..in case you do..there's a post about it too...though I know you won't..but just in case..), everything seems to have their roots at "expectations". The property to visualise getting something in return the moment an idea strikes your mind. It is not the fault of the idea. The idea is a harmless, dimensionless (forgive me, physicists..not talking science here) seed that is planted either by external factors or your own subconsciousness. But you do not want to nurture the idea just like that. You start with, "What's in it for me?" and when you get a valid answer like fame, money, love, attention blah blah and you agree to water the seed. This very "me" makes that idea important to you and it grows and grows and you can't leave it. In fact, it is so ingrained that it gives you a high of "feel good" when good things happen. But what happens when things don't work out the way they should have been? The same clay that makes a pot of "feel good" turns into a quagmire. Considering your oneness with the idea, you cannot believe how it could fail. You start fighting aggressively and no wonder the more you struggle, the more you go deeper into it.

At work, I remember, I had decided from not day one, but somewhere midway that I would not care about grades. I would work as hard as I can without expecting anything in return. I would not care about what people talked about me. I was gonna learn without keeping any expectations. So when I was the last person to leave office or coming on a weekend, people joking as they made their way out, I would just smile. It never affected me, as if there was a separate personality handling these comments and just dumping them. Then also as I heard that, " You were worthy of a very good grade. But.." I could not get good grades twice because I made my intentions clear much ahead of time, I did not feel bad. Instead I replied, " I can understand. There are other people who are gonna stay back and need more encouragement than me." ( Believe me..I was made the laughing stock cum epitome of idiocy as I relayed the story to my parents). It did not pain me at all. Repeated telecasts of the story at home, however, thanks to my parents, were enough to plant the seeds of expectations and now suddenly, I feel so bad about it. Add to that hearing about other colleagues who made a good plan about when to inform and whom to inform about their plan to quit and managing to get the best grade. Cheers to being over-frank!!

Coming across a rich guy or a well settled guy or a learned guy or a healthy guy and feeling the inferiority eat you in as you know you are light years away from getting there. One may say the reason for disappointment is competition, but deep down it comes to expectations; expecting that you be like him.

I could go on and on..proving examples..unsure though if I am right..

I feel expectation begets sorrow, disappointment and the ideal way is not to....expect. I am gonna try and do it, thinking about the smallest thought and nurturing it without expectations. Even partial success is good enough for me..and it starts from not checking facebook periodically for comments, likes..:).....I am at war.....with myself.....har har mahadeo.... 

Broadband plans

I keep changing my broadband (triband from MTNL) plans every few months..keep checking the mtnl website or come across some hoarding somewhere about new data plans.

I started with the 399 plan (1GB limit 1Mbps) few years back. Never bothered to change until two years back. Once the overseas skype calling started and also when the internet usage widened from just email to chat, music, videos etc..the data plan had to change when the bills started to shoot. I found out from my usage summary that my downloads were close to 2-3 GB So changed it to a Rs. 750 plan (5GB download limit). It worked well for 2-3 months. Then one of the months we had some long skype talks. I think it was triggered when I bought a Belkin Wifi Router and now we could keep moving the laptop wherever we wanted and still keep Skyping. So as we say in marathi.."thode laadat aalo..." The next month the bill showed the usage going to 9GB and we had to pay the extra usage charges...whoa..burned the pocket..Immediately changed to an unlimited plan and after that I changed the unlimited plan twice trying out different speeds. The first one had low speed during the day and it changed to close to 1 Mbps at night when I was back home. But 384 kbps during the day was very slow..my dad cribbing about him not able to open even gmail (had to select basic html mode for that too). So tried to get an uniform speed one..one that gave 700 kbps during the day and some 800 kbps during the night for Rs. 749. That was cool..but then there was greed..the more speed the better..heard about the "xpress unlimited plans" from MTNL. So got it changed yesterday. So for Rs. 750, I get 2 Mbps speed till 15GB download and then 752 kbps for further downloads. Sounds good. Checked the speed using speedtest.net and found a peak of 1.8 Mbps now. I think 2 Mbps is gonna be the limit considering the bottleneck of ADSL technology. The next step can only be a continuous unlimited 2 Mbps connection whenever MTNL offers it for close to Rs. 600-800. After that, either MTNL changes the cabling to Fiber and changes the modems too or we have to switch to Wifi for higher speeds......

Current unlimited plans: http://mtnlmumbai.in/index.php/unlimited-plan

Waiting..

I am waiting...waiting to be disengaged from service. It was an year ago that I decided on planning for further studies. From then on, the mind has been one scene of a melee..different disconnected tasks / thoughts each wanting to supersede the other for priority. Some thoughts that are just like those rogue processes that slow down your PC, without adding any value..their origins unknown..Add to that my whims and the blessings of the surroundings (the recos were indeed frustrating)..and it becomes a perfect mix for confusion / irritation. Three months back, I formally announced my decision to quit. I had imagined that the last month would be a cakewalk leading to a smooth exit.

But, things are still not getting cooled. In fact, they have heated up like they never were in the last year, accompanied by a lot of travelling, as if saying to me, " Won't spare you so easily, dude..". A major contributor in my restlessness towards this is my close association with the work. It is difficult for me (my bad..) to be fully dedicated to something at one point in time and suddenly starting to neglect it ( no wonder my blogs are dedicated to inertia of being...). Have heard without heed a lot of preachings from family members about how I am wrong in this regard..but they will be at peace too shortly, I hope..

Two more weeks and I will be free again. Work thoughts are going to flow out and new thoughts would flow in. I know it will take some time to focus in the newly found freedom. Hope to make the best of it...and I get back to waiting..

The Bazar experience

Makar Sankrant passes..and my mom starts receiving invitations for "haldi kunku" pressing her to return the favor by conducting one herself. The item to be given away becomes a hot topic of discussion within the family. Cost is indeed a factor since it is to be given to atleast 30-40 ladies.  When she asked me, I was reminded of the ad I saw in newspapers and at BEST bus stands (Bravo publicity team !!). See the image in the post. So I suggested to her to have a go at Big Bazar as we remember the day India became a republic...a suggestion I regret giving now.

I have generally heard from other people or seen such a scene only in ads on TV where crowds are involved in shopping in a super market as if life depended on it. I was lucky to experience it myself this time. Me and my mom headed to the Big Bazar at Growels 101, Kandivali...very rarely do we travel outside the Malad -Goregaon belt for basic shopping. Cut to growels..we were welcomed by two queues of 50-60 people. Note here the queue was to enter the shop..coz the shop couldn't handle more. I could already feel the atmosphere around me..as if you are in line to be sent on the battlefield waiting for your turn. People were discussing what they will buy once they are in. In the meantime, I was observing the people who fought and emerged out of the place with more than 6-7 shopping bags. I was trying to observe the trend. I could see that some specific items were selling like hot cakes.

Once we were in, suddenly we both were taken by the storm of people inside. Literally...and I mean it really..no space to walk. People going across you in every possible angle, with their trolleys, baskets with their "Excuse", "Thoda jaga do", some threatening you with just the amount of load they are carrying. It made us forget why we were there. Mom forgot the purpose of the visit and started talking about some bulk packets of cooking oil cans, grains and started checking the offers. I had to pull her out of the temptation and remind her why we were there. So we got aside and started discussing, "What can we buy?" Low cost but something that is very useful..etc etc..First mistake...should have gone there with a plan...Big bazar in this season is surely not the temple to think in. We both wading through the place was becoming difficult, so I suggested her to be at a place with whatever we already bought and I went around the place. This is when I realized I made a bad suggestion about Big Bazar. Of course you do find deals at Big Bazar. Buy a 5 L can of A and get a 1kg pack of B free, buy 1 get 1 free (with the two things bound together in a tight tape with stickers on it) etc. It is a good place for families to get 2-3 months of stuff with some good deals. So you will generally have deals on huge packs and not small ones. Anyway, we did not want to waste all that effort we put in getting inside and we bought the items at that place. Some things I noticed,

• You need a bigger place for such a thing. Though Big Bazar is experienced at handling large crowds, it surely does asphyxiate you surrounded by hundreds of people. A bigger place will make the shopping more pleasant.
• People have this habit of holding meetings near that very unavoidable nook to decide what they should buy, why they should buy, the prospects, profits..damn it..find a better place and plan in advance. This is not a normal supermarket where you can have a stroll..this is Big Bazar in its sabse saste din!!! Be considerate about other shoppers..
• Find a good time to go to this place..an unusual time to be precise..to avoid the crowds coz they are deadly and they care a damn...you can end up coming home with a bruised finger or arm thanks to the trolleys that keep rolling with their owners fixating on the offers.
• Do not forget to take your vehicle. Moving around waiting for rickshaws with those heavy bags can be troublesome.
• Be sure you avail all the offers especially since they have separate counter where the freebies are handed over.

That's all..phew..tiring....still 3 more days to fight...anyone interested?!

Reco..gnition

Seen some of my friends get recommendation letters from professors during the last years at degree college and seen them complain. During the last 3 months, I was fortunate to experience the process and unfortunate to have an experience worse than that of my friends. And frankly, I do not know why...

Experience: Out of the three recos I needed, one went extremely smooth, effortlessly. Hats off to the prof! The remaining two made and continue to make me beg and plead and cry. Why? One, the two didn't seem to have the time to submit them, because they were "extremely busy". That, I can never believe. Second, The account does not seem to open or there is some problem with the email account. Well, when did you realise that? Now? Or was I the lucky one to enlighten you about it? Three, "I was busy and now I am on a vacation". Aaargh!! I have met people at my workplace who are genuinely extremely busy, and generally tend to forget your request in the rush of things. But twice, maybe thrice reminding them does the thing. I think the reminder count in my case must have gone upto 12-15 considering missed calls, messages and e-mails. It starts frustrating you especially when it blends positively with the frustration at workplace sometimes. and you start to think...are you so insignificant that people do not care about your plans...so insignificant that the professor forgets for a moment that you have asked and confirmed from him for a reco...and asks you, " How can you assume that I will give a reco?" All this, as it appears to me, stems only from the "i m busy" phenomenon. So how much time does it take to fill up recos? If the prof has a draft ready, probably 10 min. for each. In fact I was a lucky witness to a record breaking feat of 7 recos within half an hour. I mean, are you really that busy then, that it took so many days? The most frustrating thing of all, is that you stay up late at night for completing applications much in advance, balancing work and these guys just keep dallying. So inconsiderate! All your hard work goes in vain.

After the count of 15 reminders, I personally visited the college twice, first in vain and in the second I nailed it for one prof, thanks to the "informer". One still remains, I continue, messaging and calling with no response from the other end with personal visits in the past all in vain. Wish me luck!

Some lessons learnt*:
1. Be good to professors at college. Be in his good lists. Do projects under him proactively when in college. If you take a break from college for work, be in touch with him. I probably did only 30% of this and hence I am to blame. Remember, if you need a reco, you need to have reco-gnition..
2. Be in touch with juniors who can update you on the prof's availability.
3. Be extremely calm with the prof, even if he swears at you. Do not forget, you need him. He does not.
4. The best thing is to take up a job at the college, if you are open to it. Then, you can remind him at your will.

Now I go back to waiting for the last one...

*: Lessons apply more for people who have studied from my college. Though they are general in nature, there may be some changes and modifications here and there....

PDF play

Last few months, I have been scanning a lot of documents. Also converting word to pdf, merging pdf files, splitting them etc. In this process, I have found few good programs for this task.

I have an HP Deskjet F4288 All-in-One scanner-printer-copier at home. If you scan a document, by default, it starts an HP utility for managing the scan, which is buggy, big-time and tedious to use too. So, began my search for the ultimate tool. Enter Softi Scan to PDF. Though it is a 30-day trial, if you uninstall it and install again, it restarts the 30 day trial..;)..so gr8. This app has a simple scan button. It has settings where you can select the scan document size, the compression ratio that is needed. This helps when you want the scanned pdf file size to be very small and the quality of scan does not bother you..esp. when upload sites limit the file size. If it is a multi-file pdf, just keep pressing "scan" after each document and it keeps appending the pages and when you are done with all pages, click on "Save PDF". Simple.

Some of my documents to be scanned were of the A3 size and could not be scanned at home since my scanner supports A4 only. Got it scanned from a print/xerox shop and the size of the files that he created were enormous. 16MB for 10 pages. I tried opening the file and printing it again using CutePDF. I thought it will compress the file in the process. No change. Then, me and google started another search and we found "Bullzip PDF". Excellent utility. Similar to CutePDF. But with this, when I tried printing the 16MB file to PDF again, it reduced the size to 5MB. That was great compression and without any visible loss of quality. Now it has also replaced CutePDF as my word-to-PDF converter. I fondly call it "Bull#$%@ PDF"..hehe.

I had all my documents separately scanned and converted to pdf. Now came the requirement of merging/splitting different PDF files together/apart as per requirement. Again...google to the rescue with freely available "PDFSAM (PDF split and merge)". Though it calls itself "Split and merge", it does much more. The feature I love the most is "Visual reorder". You can see the thumbnail view of all pages within a document, delete certain pages if you wish, rotate specific pages, change the order of pages according to their importance and after you are done, just save it as another PDF file.

Let me know if you have heard of any good ones.....

Reverse telescopic view

No no.. not a techie post...see i tagged it "Daily thoughts". So no worries, read on.

A telescope. What a masterpiece. Made possible the discovery of distant marvels in space. Made possible looking far away objects in more detail. Made possible the telescopic view mounted on weapons to have a magnified view of the target so that one can study and attack accordingly. Details, more details, more depth, is that all? i think not.

An observation and an experience. In our bid to get more focus, we try to get to the subsets and in the process, could forget the superset, the "bigger picture". A job could be of multiple phases, multiple levels. As you concentrate on each of the phase, you study, you use the telescopic view. You go into details. You know you are bang on target. You move on to the next phase. Finally, you think you are done with all levels. And then the time comes to evaluate the system on the whole. You are confident that each of the phases are correct. As things start falling in, you start relating to what the aim was in the beginning. Level 1 correct, level 2 wrong. but level 2 was right. all coz of that bloody level 1. How could I forget it? level 3 correct. level 4 wrong again. this time it's coz of that filthy level 5. Why? How could I go wrong with my concepts? Well, me thinks..Concept right, but you got the wrong map or no map at all.

So what's the remedy? THE REVERSE TELESCOPIC VIEW. Whatzztat? Just a new way to look at things. While you are busy "telescoping" things, You must also make it a point to turn the telescope around regularly and look at the work from the other end. Why called so? Basically to evaluate the work, you need something that will take you out of your world and see it from a space station. A telescope does just that, without moving you an inch. Just have to turn it around for a change. So a periodic peep. Is it looking good? Is that what I want to achieve from this block? I think just this small step can help one put a map in place of the way things should be. Use the telescope..both ways!

Maha Shoonya Teen

It's more than an year at my workplace in Sakinaka. Travelling is mostly by the bus routes 398, 488 etc. Lately, I have been staying late and generally have another colleague for company. He is more than two years here, actually a senior from SP.

So many times recently, it was me and him going home in a rick. Phew! Too costly. But the body does not have the strength and courage to go for a bus at 9:45 pm. Atleast it pretends so. More so when it has experienced the comforts of a swift airy ride.

So it happens that as usual, I get out of the gate and show the rick begging hand accompanied with few forced tired words. After one or two misses, it is a hit. "Borivali?". The rickwallah gives a condescending nod. As soon as we get in, my colleague asked him," Meter thik hai na?". And the rickwallah says a non-chalant , "MH-03 hai. Thoda idhar udhar ho sakta hai." We got down and I asked my office mate what made him ask that question. He said, "MH-03 tha. isliye poocha."

And then came the revelation. Apparently, MH-03 ricks (also nicknamed Ghatkopar ricks) are infamous for having rigged meters. More the distance, more the loot. That is when I started observing that the only ricks that were going empty were the "Maha Shoonya Teen"s with MH-02 scattered sparsely. A Google search after returning home also confirmed the allegation. In fact, the very next day, I tried my hand at the MH-03 for a short distance near office which will generally cost me around Rs.14. The meter screamed a Rs. 20. Thanks to the enlightenment attained under the Bodhirickshaw a day ago, I had already cleared matters with the rickwallah confirming that I will only pay what I generally do for that distance.

Made me wonder how much I have lost already within my tenure here... what about ppl who are not aware of this? Suno bhaai suno..

Black and white

Black and white...contrasting enough to be conspicuously spotted together. White shining over black, black engraved in white. Maybe that's the reason why we use the idiom "in black and white" to denote something "in writing". Because the very act of writing things down make them clear as does black on white or white on black.

But I doubt if many are fans of writing. They do not prefer it, they prefer verbal conversation; They prefer orange, green, yellow, sky blue, pinkish brownish red, but no...not black and white. Black and white is "mail baaji" for them.

Well, I agree, to the fullest extent, be it art, literature, nothing is as good as verbally expressing it with all the body that you got. Even I was held by my legs and dipped into this pool of communication skills, made to "rrrratofy" the advantages of oral communication over written. That just speaks about my desperation, no pointer pointing towards anyone who taught us communication skills. MG ma'am, to tell you, you were the best!

But as far as what I have experienced, I have always found "mail-baaji" to the advantage. Take down the notes of advantages of writing over blabbering:

Foremost. You are a busy person. You hardly get time to talk, or are in a place where networks are no good, but you have a phone where you can read mails. What is the best way to get in touch with you?? Writing a mail.

2. With reference to the first point again. If you are busy, no problem. You can refer to my mail later. The very essence which led the NOMADIC man to write things down when it's official :). It gets recorded!

3. I said something to you. Now few days later I twist my point. Do you have a proof of that?? NO. Consider the otherwise with writing.

4. Can you cascade oral communication?? hehe...with mails, just reply or forward and the great technology helps you link mails wrt a specific topic.

OK. it was a 5 mark question. With 4 points, you get a mark less or whatever, but believe me, atleast I do, those 4 points are worth more.

Oh....just when the bell was going to ring and the exam to end, I remembered, ...you can attach things to mails..documents, drawings etc. etc.Thats a fivey now..hehe..added this here since I did not want to disturb the end.

And, by the way, for people who like colours, try the font color options, smileys...there's every colour "in black and white".

The Bus Game on the Lunar Land

I thought of the title " An Hour at the Bus Stop" but that would have made it look like a 2nd Std Essay and would have taken away the exciting part of the 'game' that it is. So basically, this is a very interesting game that one gets to play at the Dindoshi bus depot. It requires a lot of brain, vigilance and physical power. People weak at any of these should not enter the Dindoshi Bus Depot.

RULE 1: This game is played from Mon-Fri.

So it is 8 15 in the morning. You are fully charged to face another day at the office. And you enter the lunar-surfaced Depot - but with two differences.

1. g(Dindoshi lunar surface)= g(Earth) in Dindoshi area.

2. This lunar surface has not traces of water but gallons of them. ISRO could supersede NASA this time in researching water on moon. I am here to help :)

After knowing all these technicalities, you reach a safe area doing the astronaut jumps.

RULE 2: Check if the game is already over.

You look around to see if the daily faces are still there or they have beaten you in the game for that day.

Now you start looking for THE resource: the BUS. There are options and their numbers mean nothing unless it takes you to or near your destination. But intelligent people will analyse to select the right bus.

RULE 3: Late entries are not given the liberty to use their intelligence.

Then comes in the vigilance - the most important quality required to win this game. There are many things to keep an eye on:

a. The BEST honey comb: the place from where the driver bee and the conductor bee come out. You should know the already standing bus (flower) on which they will land. Experience comes handy here.

b. The opponents. In case you are not good at point a, this one helps you. Observe each opponent very carefully. Not directly in the eye(they will shoot with their snipers..beware), but look askance. Try to read their inscrutable faces. Their excitement of seeing the driver come towards the bus will surely betray their will to be stolid.

c. The gate of the depot from where a bus could already come loaded with the driver and conductor.

So you have two threads already running in your OS. Now another one adds in. The one that actuates the process of running. As soon as the observation thread of three cases throws an event, the thread for "running" should chip in without any latency.

RULE 4: Go for the front door if you are a female. The front door is a female dominated place. Do not dare to try it if you are a male. Snipers galore. Males, go for the back door.

Now comes the physical test. You need the strength of a Spartan to push away everyone behind you and get into that door to heaven. Most lose their hope at this stage and the victors go to the next level- THE ENTHRONEMENT.

The Enthronement rules have recently undergone a revision; Rev 3 to be precise, which has made the game all the more difficult for males. But that makes it more challenging and men are always good at taking challenges...hihaha. In a ruling that speaks about growing female dominance, 6 rows on the right side (12 whole seats!!) have been reserved for females now. Damn it! OK..so the victors from the last level have to catch the right throne keeping in mind all kinds of reserved seats for the females, the aged and the handicapped. The reserved seats, if unused, can be used unless the owner comes to claim it. Failure to show respect to reservations can result in disqualification.

This ends the game. The rule for deciding the winners is as follows:

RULE 5: Window seat winners stand at first place. The "pillion" seat achievers stand at second. The "standing" stand nowhere and get their punishment during the journey. If the top two places feel pity about you, you could be promoted to their positions when they are already satisfied with the comforts the seat offers...though it hardly offers anything..something better than nothing should we say..the vigilance tips can help here to know the possible candidates who are oversatisfied with their positions.

So that's the BUS game..And there is always a chance to take revenge on your opponent...the next day and the next and the next...Interested ppl are welcome.....unwillingly :(

Speed Breakers

Somehow I have this thing about weekends. Guess, it is bcoz it is the only time in the week when I get to introspect. And this intospection can be killing, mind you. When the mind falls in a thought trench, it is difficult to climb up and come out of it. And in such cases, to the rescue come THE WEEKDAYS. Think of it as a road with speed breakers. You keep going fast, when suddenly you hit a speed breaker(in this case periodic ones). You go slow over them to speed up again. Is speed good? Dunnno..Would weekdays be good had they been like weekends..a BIG NO. But I miss the introspection on weekdays.....Thank God, they both exist...

weekend ends...

Another weekend going by... I always end the Friday thinking I will do something exciting this weekend, learn something new, just anything that could help me widen the supposed-to-be "eyes of the mind". However, it always remains a mystery how the weekend goes by. So what did I do this weekend. I do not know..read a few random technical articles which tickled a nerve or two in the brain to be settled again as it was. Hmmm... well yeah, I saw Taare Zameen Par(TZP famously)

for a third time. The magnitude of tears being the same everytime I have seen it. It was shown on the local cable channel courtesy Children's day. The only message I get from the film is "Stop forcing your children to perform. Just encourage them and they will perform on their own."-a very important one. Even today a play was telecast called "Shyamchi Mummy"-a similar topic but showcasing a very opposite view. It must be a 6-7 years old play, when HSC exams were very critical for further admission.In this play, what happens is that the guy who is studying for the HSC is bullied badly by his mom who is bent on wanting to have him in the list of merit rankers. He hates doing all this, following schedules etc.. There's hell lot of jokes in the middle of how he tries to relax but ends up getting caught by his mom. But in the end, everything is happy since he tops the merit list. The messages from both these media quite clash and they only highlight the fact that it is the competition that is killing. I remember how when in school, getting the top rank was important...to me. It was only because of the importance that I attached with that position which made me frantic about getting it. I do not know how it became important for me. Maybe it was because of the praise that I was subjected to in school and at home whenever I scored it, that made me go for it everytime. But just out of school and going for IIT coaching and then juniour and engineering college proved to me how all these marks stand no value, especially in an Indian education system. I found out how I had forgotten sharpening my skills while running in the very local competition of the school. I found out that there were many more students coming from other schools who have scored maybe a below 10th rank but are truly talented and have nurtured their talents instead of running in the race and that is very important. I struggled to find out my interests after SSC, which would not have been the case had I considered many years ago. In fact I would have been much confident in the course that I enrolled, because till then the thought that it is the goal of life would have made a far greater impact in my mindscape. This is what I have learnt from my schooling years and wish to share with everyone. I feel the competition is important, but currently the competition is about something superficial, something tangible. What would be of much more help is if the competition is about bettering oneself internally, strengthening oneself internally, about making principles clear. And that, that would be a competition of oneself with oneself. This is what I have been telling whoever I meet, whoever I know who is yet to experience all this. And even if you have already lost all these crucial years like me, better late than never. Start it today, now. Strive for self betterment, strive for others to be better too...and then let people connect like systems....as the IBM ad goes....when systems connect the world gets smarter.

I M BAK!!

My thoughts really seem to have gained some inertia....a long time since i wrote something..Anyways, it's been such a strange transition from the college days to the ones in my first job. Having this inertial mind as is, now a days, it's always filled of things about office. Back in college, it used to be about friends, family and studies. Quite literally. Just few weeks back, I realised that this has changed. And the thing to trigger this realisation was the fact that I had forgotten the birthday of my best friend....sad...indeed...But this is not always the case.. weekends is when nostalgia strikes and it strikes badly and yet you can do nothing more than chatting or a mail to dress it superficially.